As if it wasn’t hard enough being the perpetual Jan Brady to Minneapolis’ Marcia (Cindy is, like, Brainerd), now residents have to deal with a national magazine calling St. Paul the 24th worst dressed city in America. To make matters worse, the writer even includes a shout-out to Minneapolis at the end of the description, choosing to call it “younger,” “hipper,” and “boutique-strewn.” It’s like pouring salt in an already festering, highly self-conscious wound that is badly dressed in last season’s gauze.

24. Saint Paul, MN
For the most part, Saint Paul takes after its namesake: an old, conservative white dude who doesn’t care much for earthly fashions. Consider the haircut on one of its most famous denizens, F. Scott Fitzgerald. It’s the kind of place where a Super Kmart doesn’t seem like a superfluous eyesore, it’s a gosh darn convenient place to purchase appliances, groceries, and yes—clothes—in one big time-saving trip. Meaning there’s more hours in the day to watch Matlock or mow the lawn in a giveaway tee and Zubaz. Fortunately, for the few fashion-minded citizens of St. Paul, the much younger, hipper, boutique-strewn Minneapolis is just a bridge away.—Lauren Bans